Class Blog - Persuasion

(I apologize for the lateness on this, we had a bit of an internet outage here at home)

Lessons Learned

Persuasion can be very hit or miss at times, even for those of us who understand it's workings. I'm not saying that I myself am some master of persuasion, but I do know what it is to make others feel what I want them to feel and think how I want them to think. It is the essence of creative writing to persuade your audience to accept the fiction as possible facts, to see the world for a short time as something it isn't, and to understand and empathize with a person they can never ever meet. But many times in real life, I find my methods of trying to persuade others will be unaccepted or even met with hostility.

This is why a person that understands persuasion is not ruled by it. They accept it and seek to know what they are being persuaded towards, and many times might modify the outcome to be closer to what both parties want.

I've met people that do not understand persuasion, and they are some of the most creatively dead people inside. They have little they want to imagine about, except what they might be told to imagine, and they almost need to look to their leaders to know what opinions to parrot back. Both sides of the American political arena have people like this, as well as most people that subscribe to any extremist point of view. These are people that do not understand persuasion because many times they do not want to.

All they want is to be led to the grass they should eat and be told which cliffs are better to jump off of.

Application

I apply persuasion to how I write, a I had said before. I'm likely to be going into advertising or marketing in the near future, and I understand what it means to both manipulate and to persuade.

The best persuasion in fiction happens with the pairing of logic and emotion, the moments where an audience is asked to consider what might be a possible fact, and then accept new and more outlandish facts for the sake of belief suspension. It is once this use of unreal facts is established that emotions can be invested and can be used to make more facts feel real.

In the end, though, writers only have to heavily use the "co-op problem solving" when they want people to keep coming back, often in the form of sequels. It's a bargain between writer and audience that the next installment will either give as much impact as previously, if not more. And when a writer cannot deliver, then that is less trust that the audience then has in them.

Class Blog - Communication

Lessons Learned

When communicating, many of us in our class have very different ideas on how to go about it, but we all seem to agree on a goal. Specifically, I found the difference in how we saw "Assertive" and "Aggressive" in different ways. For me, Assertive has always been when you speak with a respectful tone, but show that you are not opening the outcome for negotiation. Aggressive, on the other hand, adds the element of making the other person feel shame and fault in a greater degree than personal responsibility or a desire to work on the task.

Application

What I think I will take away most from Tuesday's class is the observations I have of other people's thoughts and reactions on "Assertive/Aggressive/Passive" communication. It's with many of the comments and thoughts of others that I will be trying to assert myself with a more passive edge, seeking to soften my stance on issues I feel strongly about with more communication on why something is important rather than speaking like it is already knowledge why things are important.

3/4/10 - Diversity and Listening

Lessons Learned

First off, the topic of ethnic differences and how they impact society, as well as other methods of delineation in society (ie; social status, economics, sexual orientation, gender, etc) was the focus of my Sociology class last semester, and a topic that I absolutely loved from an academic standpoint. What I appreciated in Hiep's talks and in that sociology class was that both held that there was no "one correct answer". There is no denying that in the past there have been injustices perpetuated in this country based upon race, gender, and even religion. But what I do feel is correct is that the extent that we are forced to "atone" for it today is unjust and inefficient.

I feel no White Guilt, because I don't feel I have anything to apologize for on behalf of my family or my bloodline. I'm third generation Polish-American on my father's side, and my maternal side is predominantly German and has been here since the western expansion. I'm an eastern and central European descent, with my family during the western expansion marrying into native blood instead of conquering it. What a lot of people forget about the history of this country is that for a good period of time, being Polish would have marked me as undesirable and a second-class citizen. In Europe, our country was conquered and beaten by so many other nations that our national identity has been forever skewed and altered by those that occupied us.

But nobody thinks of that history when they look at me, because I look "Just like every other white person". I have been accused of racism, my family exploiting slaves, and perpetuating a cycle of hate just because of the color of my skin. I have jokes made about my ancestral country's military and the intelligence of my kinsman even today, even though many don't realize today why they make those jokes or how inaccurate they are. And it does bother me sometimes, even if I will pass off a few Polish jokes myself to take the lingering poison out of them. But I don't like bing identified as "White", because I feel it lessens and homogenizes who I am and where I came from. I'm an American, and I'm an American that works hard to remember that every single person that asks to emigrate here is just like my own ancestors in some way.

If you want to categorize me, compartmentalize me, or label me, I understand that. It's human nature, and making labels is how we make sense of the world around us. But I am more than the color of my skin, and I am more than an ugly page in history. I have my own subcultures, my own communities, and my own values. All of them transcend who I was born as or where I come from. They are a part of me because I choose to be a part of them.

My name is Abraham John Kwiatkowski. I am a human being, and I hope that that is the first label people see me as after they learn who I am.

Applications

I have prejudices, but they come from my views of subcultures and what they hold as pervading values. I hate the drug subculture; not because of the propaganda that the government puts out about a "War on Drugs", but because I had to live in the same home as my brother who showed that those who use drugs as a subcultural icon develop into selfish and greedy people that will search for others to blame and to have their problems fixed for them. They don't care about what they do to others to get their next high, and they value their chemicals more than they value other people.

I hate hardcore MMOers (Massive Multiplayer Online Gamers). These are people that will search for any way to cheat in a game or exploit whatever loophole they can, and forget to just have fun with a game. They will ridicule anyone that attempts to just play, instead of treating the entire thing as a numbers shuffling system, and often they will make this pursuit of fictional numbers and meaningless "wealth" into a badge of elitism to alienate others.

These are broad strokes that can be just as damaging of stereotypes as anything said about a race, gender, religion, etc. I need to stop using them as my definitions of everyone that identifies with these groups based on just the bad things I have seen.

Applications: Time Management & Self Management

Prioritize Better - There's a definite need for me to better sort and prioritize what I do, from my homework to my personal tasks. It was made especially obvious as I was going through what amounts of time I spent on what, and looking at how erratic some of my unused time spaces are from week to week.

Sort Stress Better - I don't handle stress well once it gets past a certain critical mass point. I think some of this has to do with how all my stresses and stressors often will get clumped into one category by me, making this gooey and sloppy lump that I can't overcome. If I better compartmentalize these stresses, then likely I will not feel as overwhelmed as often.

Lessons Learned: Time Management & Self Management

I live a busy life, and it is always made more obvious to me once I get on mass transit. I look at my commute and I think of everything I could do with that time, everything I try to do with that time, and everything I would rather be doing with that time.

I've tried doing homework, but have you ever tried reading anything larger than a small paperback novel on the bus? Space is at a premium and I'm a broad guy, meaning I have zero room to maneuver once someone sits next to me. And the bus is not a stable place, so any typing is very slow and always riddled with typos. So I can't be productive. Then there's motion sickness; reading many times will cause a nausea that is not good for an hour+ trip, so even if I had room I still would be able to only do so much.

If I wasn't taking mass transit, I also could work certain chores and tasks into my commute; pick up office supplies and non-perishable groceries on the way to school, general grocery shopping on the way home. I could also eat my meals at home and save money, instead of eating for pay here at school.

In the end, I learned to not only measure the value of the time I use, but also what I might be able to do with it alternatively.

Missed Messages: Convincing & Leadership

Lessons Learned

The core concepts in both parts 3 & 4 of the book seem to be able to be expressed as outgrowths of both sincerity and empathy. There are some that would say that it is important to include humility in this, but I find that when you are able to show both qualities with skill, then things such as humility come naturally.

This is also the part of the book where a person might start realizing exactly what it is they've done wrong in the past. I mean sure, so much of what is presented seems like real common sense, but I'm certain that people have begun to see just how difficult common sense can be to recognize before it's too late. And that's not really a crime. We all do it at some point or another, when we get wrapped up in just what's immediately around us and what it is that's important in our own cosmos at the moment. But it's when you remember the portions of sincerity and empathy that you can both show others where you are at while you try to build a bridge into where the other person is at.

Application

• You can't win an argument - This is one I am making a real effort to remember, because I do now realize just how true that is. Debates, discussions, and criticism are all different than arguments, and I remember just how I feel after being argued with and made to feel like there's no way out except to roll over and surrender. It's never worked in getting me to change, and I need to stop arguing as much as I do if I expect to get better results.
• Let others save face - This goes with the first point I'm working on; don't defeat my opponent, make them an ally. There are many that may not want to resolve things like that, but I'm more likely to get cooperation from those that just want to be redeemed by allowing this more.
• Faults can be corrected - This also comes back to my need to let go of control. When I correct and am successful in pointing out what is wrong, saving face can mean letting the other person work on the correction. It's also important for me to make it clear that the problem can be corrected to make it easier to get to that point.

Application - Goals, Values, and Ethics

I don't think there is much that I can change about myself after this section of class, except for a renewed sense of conviction in my personal ethos. Everything that was discussed either seemed to be lessons I already had discovered, or redundant strategies for getting to places I felt I already was.

I appreciate that as a class, our ethics were not supposed to be made to conform. It is something I try to practice myself. In the end, it is this conviction and understanding I think I will best take away with me.