Leadership Final extra - "Course Evaluation"

1) Indentify elements of the course which helped you learned or impacted you positively, e.g., team work, presentations, gradebook, interactions with other students and or teacher, course format, instructor’s teaching techniques/approach, blogs, assignments, readings, other, etc.

I felt that the overall class interaction worked very well in bringing a lot of the lessons to a more personal level, and it kept me from feeling I was just reading through one of a million self-help books. I also appreciated my instructor's efforts a great deal, and it was his efforts and his dedication to our class that kept me putting in extra effort as well.

2) Identify elements of the course that can be improved and/or eliminated, e.g., team work, presentations, gradebook, interactions with other students and or teacher, course format, instructor’s teaching techniques/approach, blogs, assignments, readings, other, etc.

I felt that the team aspect of the class did not have enough time to develop, especially as many of us were attempting to get a hold on the class dynamic as well in the start of the semester. In my opinion, I think the formation of teams would work better in the second half of the class, after students have gotten a hang of the work and who others in the class are.

3) Discuss your level of participation and effort in the class, e.g., fully engaged, somewhat engaged, not at all, did your best, etc.

I did what I could to stay fully engaged in the class and lessons, and feel that through the entire course that our instructor did what he could to keep us engaged and involved.

4) If you were the instructor, how would you have taught the class?

To be honest, I'm not sure. This is a topic I do not feel I have enough experience on to plan an entire course.

Leadership Final pt. 2 - "The Grade I Deserve"

I want an A.

I want an A because I feel that even where I might have fallen short at times, that I came back with other efforts that went beyond what might have been expected. I tried as hard as I could to push past my bubble of comfort and I was honest with both my teams and with the class as a whole.

I cannot say that I deserve an A based on the completion of every assignment, because I know there are some I missed or some that I did not get in on time. But I hope that I showed growth and results that are hallmarks of a student that came to learn and took lessons away that will make him a better leader.

I want an A not for the prestige of my GPA, or for my education grants. I want an A because I want to know that I deserved it based on what I learned and what I gave back.

Leadership Final pt. 1 - "My Life in the Rearview Mirror"

It's so difficult for me to think about what it would be like to have my life at an end right now. In many ways I'm restarting my life with my time here at MATC, or perhaps it's more accurate to say that I'm starting a new life. I do not feel that my life so far has been without accomplishments or some form of legacy, but I cling to the thought that I have so much more to give the world than I already have. So with that knowledge, I hope that any who decide to read this will understand that I reflect on hat I have been able to give and do, as well as regrets that very well may be changed in the future.

What I have Given

At the age of 29, I feel that my contributions are so small compared to others. There is a very valid school of thought that there is no such thing as a small accomplishment if it has enriched the life of another, but I wonder if others see what I give as enriching.

I first would say that one of my greatest accomplishments of the past has been how many have stopped to consider alternatives based on my words and thoughts. I know that I have caused personal growth in a number of people I've known based solely on how I have watched them play games, as strange as that may sound. But before you dismiss that, consider this; Games have been a part of human history since the first signs of civilization, designed as both entertainment and teaching tool. A truly good game requires all concentration and attention to be given to it, and ending with a hint as to how to play better next time. However, I've known many young people that used to shop or play against me that would not see a game as more than a situation to win or lose, and would give up on the games they would lose at. They did not see the game as experience, just an obstacle. But for a number of them, I showed that a game you always won never challenged you to see new things.

Chess was always my favorite, as it teaches patience, logic, and the ability to look at your opponent with respect. But there are games for teaching teamwork, self reliance, understanding resources, flexibility in planning, and even the ability to accept a loss of control. And at all times, it taught how important good rules are and how bad rules just caused failure. I saw many of these kids go on to thinking less about to get an easy win and more in how to appreciate a worthwhile victory. And if there is ever a life philosophy I think we should all live by, it's that.

Regrets

Even as of last night, I am still bothered with my own self doubts. I have issues that may never be overcome fully, and they often manifest as bitter grudges, irrational overpowering fears, and a loss of confidence. My regrets come that even with my self knowledge about these issues, I still fail to prevent them from slowing down where I could be in life. I know that some of these problems cannot just be overcome with willpower and strength of character, but I have to accept responsibility for what I can control before I look outwards at the other causes in my life.

How Others See Me

I am told many times how intelligent I am. It is a comment that always makes me feel better about how often I speak up, or offer advice. It is a comment, however, that I feel needs to come with personal humility. As smart as I am, I know there is so much I have to learn. And if there is anything I do that others may see as intelligent or smart, I hope it is my actions I take to learn more by speaking up and bringing my own views or thoughts to light. I don't do this because I want others to look at me or share my ideas, but rather I want others to talk with me and to feel that I'll listen to them as much as they might listen to me.

Class Blog - Persuasion

(I apologize for the lateness on this, we had a bit of an internet outage here at home)

Lessons Learned

Persuasion can be very hit or miss at times, even for those of us who understand it's workings. I'm not saying that I myself am some master of persuasion, but I do know what it is to make others feel what I want them to feel and think how I want them to think. It is the essence of creative writing to persuade your audience to accept the fiction as possible facts, to see the world for a short time as something it isn't, and to understand and empathize with a person they can never ever meet. But many times in real life, I find my methods of trying to persuade others will be unaccepted or even met with hostility.

This is why a person that understands persuasion is not ruled by it. They accept it and seek to know what they are being persuaded towards, and many times might modify the outcome to be closer to what both parties want.

I've met people that do not understand persuasion, and they are some of the most creatively dead people inside. They have little they want to imagine about, except what they might be told to imagine, and they almost need to look to their leaders to know what opinions to parrot back. Both sides of the American political arena have people like this, as well as most people that subscribe to any extremist point of view. These are people that do not understand persuasion because many times they do not want to.

All they want is to be led to the grass they should eat and be told which cliffs are better to jump off of.

Application

I apply persuasion to how I write, a I had said before. I'm likely to be going into advertising or marketing in the near future, and I understand what it means to both manipulate and to persuade.

The best persuasion in fiction happens with the pairing of logic and emotion, the moments where an audience is asked to consider what might be a possible fact, and then accept new and more outlandish facts for the sake of belief suspension. It is once this use of unreal facts is established that emotions can be invested and can be used to make more facts feel real.

In the end, though, writers only have to heavily use the "co-op problem solving" when they want people to keep coming back, often in the form of sequels. It's a bargain between writer and audience that the next installment will either give as much impact as previously, if not more. And when a writer cannot deliver, then that is less trust that the audience then has in them.

Class Blog - Communication

Lessons Learned

When communicating, many of us in our class have very different ideas on how to go about it, but we all seem to agree on a goal. Specifically, I found the difference in how we saw "Assertive" and "Aggressive" in different ways. For me, Assertive has always been when you speak with a respectful tone, but show that you are not opening the outcome for negotiation. Aggressive, on the other hand, adds the element of making the other person feel shame and fault in a greater degree than personal responsibility or a desire to work on the task.

Application

What I think I will take away most from Tuesday's class is the observations I have of other people's thoughts and reactions on "Assertive/Aggressive/Passive" communication. It's with many of the comments and thoughts of others that I will be trying to assert myself with a more passive edge, seeking to soften my stance on issues I feel strongly about with more communication on why something is important rather than speaking like it is already knowledge why things are important.

3/4/10 - Diversity and Listening

Lessons Learned

First off, the topic of ethnic differences and how they impact society, as well as other methods of delineation in society (ie; social status, economics, sexual orientation, gender, etc) was the focus of my Sociology class last semester, and a topic that I absolutely loved from an academic standpoint. What I appreciated in Hiep's talks and in that sociology class was that both held that there was no "one correct answer". There is no denying that in the past there have been injustices perpetuated in this country based upon race, gender, and even religion. But what I do feel is correct is that the extent that we are forced to "atone" for it today is unjust and inefficient.

I feel no White Guilt, because I don't feel I have anything to apologize for on behalf of my family or my bloodline. I'm third generation Polish-American on my father's side, and my maternal side is predominantly German and has been here since the western expansion. I'm an eastern and central European descent, with my family during the western expansion marrying into native blood instead of conquering it. What a lot of people forget about the history of this country is that for a good period of time, being Polish would have marked me as undesirable and a second-class citizen. In Europe, our country was conquered and beaten by so many other nations that our national identity has been forever skewed and altered by those that occupied us.

But nobody thinks of that history when they look at me, because I look "Just like every other white person". I have been accused of racism, my family exploiting slaves, and perpetuating a cycle of hate just because of the color of my skin. I have jokes made about my ancestral country's military and the intelligence of my kinsman even today, even though many don't realize today why they make those jokes or how inaccurate they are. And it does bother me sometimes, even if I will pass off a few Polish jokes myself to take the lingering poison out of them. But I don't like bing identified as "White", because I feel it lessens and homogenizes who I am and where I came from. I'm an American, and I'm an American that works hard to remember that every single person that asks to emigrate here is just like my own ancestors in some way.

If you want to categorize me, compartmentalize me, or label me, I understand that. It's human nature, and making labels is how we make sense of the world around us. But I am more than the color of my skin, and I am more than an ugly page in history. I have my own subcultures, my own communities, and my own values. All of them transcend who I was born as or where I come from. They are a part of me because I choose to be a part of them.

My name is Abraham John Kwiatkowski. I am a human being, and I hope that that is the first label people see me as after they learn who I am.

Applications

I have prejudices, but they come from my views of subcultures and what they hold as pervading values. I hate the drug subculture; not because of the propaganda that the government puts out about a "War on Drugs", but because I had to live in the same home as my brother who showed that those who use drugs as a subcultural icon develop into selfish and greedy people that will search for others to blame and to have their problems fixed for them. They don't care about what they do to others to get their next high, and they value their chemicals more than they value other people.

I hate hardcore MMOers (Massive Multiplayer Online Gamers). These are people that will search for any way to cheat in a game or exploit whatever loophole they can, and forget to just have fun with a game. They will ridicule anyone that attempts to just play, instead of treating the entire thing as a numbers shuffling system, and often they will make this pursuit of fictional numbers and meaningless "wealth" into a badge of elitism to alienate others.

These are broad strokes that can be just as damaging of stereotypes as anything said about a race, gender, religion, etc. I need to stop using them as my definitions of everyone that identifies with these groups based on just the bad things I have seen.

Applications: Time Management & Self Management

Prioritize Better - There's a definite need for me to better sort and prioritize what I do, from my homework to my personal tasks. It was made especially obvious as I was going through what amounts of time I spent on what, and looking at how erratic some of my unused time spaces are from week to week.

Sort Stress Better - I don't handle stress well once it gets past a certain critical mass point. I think some of this has to do with how all my stresses and stressors often will get clumped into one category by me, making this gooey and sloppy lump that I can't overcome. If I better compartmentalize these stresses, then likely I will not feel as overwhelmed as often.

Lessons Learned: Time Management & Self Management

I live a busy life, and it is always made more obvious to me once I get on mass transit. I look at my commute and I think of everything I could do with that time, everything I try to do with that time, and everything I would rather be doing with that time.

I've tried doing homework, but have you ever tried reading anything larger than a small paperback novel on the bus? Space is at a premium and I'm a broad guy, meaning I have zero room to maneuver once someone sits next to me. And the bus is not a stable place, so any typing is very slow and always riddled with typos. So I can't be productive. Then there's motion sickness; reading many times will cause a nausea that is not good for an hour+ trip, so even if I had room I still would be able to only do so much.

If I wasn't taking mass transit, I also could work certain chores and tasks into my commute; pick up office supplies and non-perishable groceries on the way to school, general grocery shopping on the way home. I could also eat my meals at home and save money, instead of eating for pay here at school.

In the end, I learned to not only measure the value of the time I use, but also what I might be able to do with it alternatively.