Lessons Learned - Class 5: Conflicts (1/26/10)

This is a topic that I have difficulty with when things go very wrong. As I voluntarily stated in class, I have the potential to be a very bitter person that holds a grudge when I feel I have been wronged. This comes after I usually find that a conflict cannot reach resolution without giving up a part of my self-worth (which might be inflated or not... I'm still trying to find a therapist that will be able to decide on that), thus violating my personal ethics.

This isn't a self-help blog, though, and it isn't a place for me to vent my personal woes. But I will say that by at least recognizing my failing in an essential aspect of team dynamics, and focusing on who and what "deserves" the energy I put into maintaining these unhealthy grudges, I have developed a series of qualifications for where I stop trying to resolve a conflict. I feel that it's a pretty high threshold.

Now, to get back on track...

Of all the lessons being talked about in class, it was the temper one that I felt was the most profound. Anger is the single greatest barrier to resolving a conflict, because I have yet to see such a thing as "Logical Anger". We can't analyze both sides when tempers flare, and if at least one side approaches the table from a standpoint of indignation then they may see any attempts at finding a mid point to be condescending.