Project Promotion - Using social networking without being annoying or evil

Alright... so, now that my finals are done for my first year leg of my degree, I want to share some thoughts that never were possible to discuss in classes. Simply put, it's the slowly growing trend of using the Internet to promote and even test various media projects. If you have not yet read about Slingers, Iron Sky, or Pixels then you should keep your eyes glued to the screen for just a bit longer.

When most people hear about "internet circulated videos", they usually think of the random little home videos put up on youtube or movie trailers put up for established "real" films coming to theaters soon. However, what if you promoted and got a production contract based on your following and hype before you started production or got your contracts?

While I'm sure there are more people out there doing this than I have here (and if you somehow come to read this post and know of others, please post that info in the comments), my first exposure to this is for the proposed sci-fi show Slingers.

This sizzle reel in the past might have been shown only to studio execs or network programmers in past eras of promotion. However, the folks at SleepyDog wanted to see how it tested with the real people that make shows live and die; the fandom. So they distributed the video through various social networks, blogs, news feeds, and webzines and sat back to see how far it would spread. Within a few weeks the company got an article in print magazines and were in talks with undisclosed parties for the show's future, and still are getting circulated by friends linking friends and chatting it up on "how cool it would all be". Seriously, it's numbers and feedback like that that most places spend tons on through focus groups (though it by no means is as reliable as the refined data you can get from a well run focus group).

Then there's the feature film project Iron Sky, an alternate history story about Nazis attacking from a hidden moon base.

Ironsky.net has taken their production process one step beyond just promoting their proposed film through the internet, but also using the internet to see what people might want in the movie. Now, this isn't some hobo soup method where the writers and producers will use everything, but instead they are looking into the insight of various armchair writers that might have extremely valid and creative ideas, thus allowing them to keep a steady flow of concepts that keeps their main staff from getting too married to concepts that might kill the film to viewers. Yes, there is a danger of getting piles of junk with those good ideas, but how often have we all gone to movies and said, "I could have improved so many parts of this if they had only asked"?

Finally you have the film short Pixels which came out onto the net not long ago.

While not an official project for promotion, this particular film gained such attention through networking and linksharing that Patrick Jean has been meeting with large media companies for possible future projects. Consider how this sort of short film would have to tour in expensive and/or obscure showings and contests in the past to get attention, while now we have a way to boost up those who we feel have talent just by talking about them in the right places.

The conclusion I came to, and what I hope others see, is this; web promotion does not have to be about stupid Facebook games or pages that require you to share with others for a "chance at a prize". These methods of internet promotion are in fact steeped in a mindset that you have to trick your audience into liking what you want to put out there. Instead, work to make something that people find compelling and interesting and trust them to do your work for you on a voluntary basis. In the sci-fi/fantasy genre this can be easy, because that target demographic is the one that is so highly intermeshed with the internet. But if other media start putting as much thought into gaining interest, then they might see a growth in quality projects coming from channels they never thought possible.

Advertising Class - Blog Marketing

With our studies in internet marketing and advertising techniques, we are asked to make a sample blog entry about a product. Professional bloggers are becoming an important part of the social network marketing concept, so here's my sample blog post for the urbanspoon.com service/site.

With all the top ten lists that Madison makes, it sometimes escapes many of us that Madison is the number one city for the amount of restaurants per capita. We have an international cuisine that many might find unexpected and might hold the best meal that many haven't tried yet. But how do you know what might be a culinary adventure, and what might just be a new dish to refuse due to a "bad experience"?

Consider trying Urbanspoon.com next time you have the question "Where can we go that's not the same old place?" While there are plenty of food review sites out there, Urbanspoon works to base it's ratings and opinions on people in your community and not just a select group of reviewers. Registration is easy and private, and not even required if all you wish to do is read what others think. Add in the ability to filter listings by food choices, special features (such as Free Wi-Fi or Late Night Dining), price ranges, and popularity, and you have an amazing tool to find that new favorite restaurant.

Future of "Clutter in the Attic"

At this point, I suppose I could just abandon this as yet another portion of cyberspace that I once inhabited. I've had a few other blogs in the past that were stopped for one reason or another, but I think that with this account I'm going to try something new.

I started this as a requirement for my Leadership course through Madison College (Formerly Madison Area Technical College), with the blog working as a record of thoughts and assignments for my professor. This class is one step towards me getting a new future with a two-year degree in Marketing (with possible continuation towards a 4 year degree at UW Madison). So, to keep my eyes on the prize, I'm turning "Clutter" into my blog on thoughts about modern marketing and my passion for small business action. What does that mean you can expect?

• Food reviews that I do for the social network site "Urbanspoon" (A site that I feel displays social marketing as a real positive force)
• Links to articles I find on Marketing Trends, and my personal thoughts on the matter
• Personal reflection on good and bad marketing
• Possible future class assignments (who knows, another professor might want a blog format again)

What not to expect:

• Random personal life stories
• Propagation of Internet Memes
• Venting of social woes
• Intense political debate

If you find this blog, or already have found it, then I hope you'll find what I have to say to be of value. I also will want to hear back from people that are open to discussions.

Thanks!

---Abe

Leadership Final extra - "Course Evaluation"

1) Indentify elements of the course which helped you learned or impacted you positively, e.g., team work, presentations, gradebook, interactions with other students and or teacher, course format, instructor’s teaching techniques/approach, blogs, assignments, readings, other, etc.

I felt that the overall class interaction worked very well in bringing a lot of the lessons to a more personal level, and it kept me from feeling I was just reading through one of a million self-help books. I also appreciated my instructor's efforts a great deal, and it was his efforts and his dedication to our class that kept me putting in extra effort as well.

2) Identify elements of the course that can be improved and/or eliminated, e.g., team work, presentations, gradebook, interactions with other students and or teacher, course format, instructor’s teaching techniques/approach, blogs, assignments, readings, other, etc.

I felt that the team aspect of the class did not have enough time to develop, especially as many of us were attempting to get a hold on the class dynamic as well in the start of the semester. In my opinion, I think the formation of teams would work better in the second half of the class, after students have gotten a hang of the work and who others in the class are.

3) Discuss your level of participation and effort in the class, e.g., fully engaged, somewhat engaged, not at all, did your best, etc.

I did what I could to stay fully engaged in the class and lessons, and feel that through the entire course that our instructor did what he could to keep us engaged and involved.

4) If you were the instructor, how would you have taught the class?

To be honest, I'm not sure. This is a topic I do not feel I have enough experience on to plan an entire course.

Leadership Final pt. 2 - "The Grade I Deserve"

I want an A.

I want an A because I feel that even where I might have fallen short at times, that I came back with other efforts that went beyond what might have been expected. I tried as hard as I could to push past my bubble of comfort and I was honest with both my teams and with the class as a whole.

I cannot say that I deserve an A based on the completion of every assignment, because I know there are some I missed or some that I did not get in on time. But I hope that I showed growth and results that are hallmarks of a student that came to learn and took lessons away that will make him a better leader.

I want an A not for the prestige of my GPA, or for my education grants. I want an A because I want to know that I deserved it based on what I learned and what I gave back.

Leadership Final pt. 1 - "My Life in the Rearview Mirror"

It's so difficult for me to think about what it would be like to have my life at an end right now. In many ways I'm restarting my life with my time here at MATC, or perhaps it's more accurate to say that I'm starting a new life. I do not feel that my life so far has been without accomplishments or some form of legacy, but I cling to the thought that I have so much more to give the world than I already have. So with that knowledge, I hope that any who decide to read this will understand that I reflect on hat I have been able to give and do, as well as regrets that very well may be changed in the future.

What I have Given

At the age of 29, I feel that my contributions are so small compared to others. There is a very valid school of thought that there is no such thing as a small accomplishment if it has enriched the life of another, but I wonder if others see what I give as enriching.

I first would say that one of my greatest accomplishments of the past has been how many have stopped to consider alternatives based on my words and thoughts. I know that I have caused personal growth in a number of people I've known based solely on how I have watched them play games, as strange as that may sound. But before you dismiss that, consider this; Games have been a part of human history since the first signs of civilization, designed as both entertainment and teaching tool. A truly good game requires all concentration and attention to be given to it, and ending with a hint as to how to play better next time. However, I've known many young people that used to shop or play against me that would not see a game as more than a situation to win or lose, and would give up on the games they would lose at. They did not see the game as experience, just an obstacle. But for a number of them, I showed that a game you always won never challenged you to see new things.

Chess was always my favorite, as it teaches patience, logic, and the ability to look at your opponent with respect. But there are games for teaching teamwork, self reliance, understanding resources, flexibility in planning, and even the ability to accept a loss of control. And at all times, it taught how important good rules are and how bad rules just caused failure. I saw many of these kids go on to thinking less about to get an easy win and more in how to appreciate a worthwhile victory. And if there is ever a life philosophy I think we should all live by, it's that.

Regrets

Even as of last night, I am still bothered with my own self doubts. I have issues that may never be overcome fully, and they often manifest as bitter grudges, irrational overpowering fears, and a loss of confidence. My regrets come that even with my self knowledge about these issues, I still fail to prevent them from slowing down where I could be in life. I know that some of these problems cannot just be overcome with willpower and strength of character, but I have to accept responsibility for what I can control before I look outwards at the other causes in my life.

How Others See Me

I am told many times how intelligent I am. It is a comment that always makes me feel better about how often I speak up, or offer advice. It is a comment, however, that I feel needs to come with personal humility. As smart as I am, I know there is so much I have to learn. And if there is anything I do that others may see as intelligent or smart, I hope it is my actions I take to learn more by speaking up and bringing my own views or thoughts to light. I don't do this because I want others to look at me or share my ideas, but rather I want others to talk with me and to feel that I'll listen to them as much as they might listen to me.

Class Blog - Persuasion

(I apologize for the lateness on this, we had a bit of an internet outage here at home)

Lessons Learned

Persuasion can be very hit or miss at times, even for those of us who understand it's workings. I'm not saying that I myself am some master of persuasion, but I do know what it is to make others feel what I want them to feel and think how I want them to think. It is the essence of creative writing to persuade your audience to accept the fiction as possible facts, to see the world for a short time as something it isn't, and to understand and empathize with a person they can never ever meet. But many times in real life, I find my methods of trying to persuade others will be unaccepted or even met with hostility.

This is why a person that understands persuasion is not ruled by it. They accept it and seek to know what they are being persuaded towards, and many times might modify the outcome to be closer to what both parties want.

I've met people that do not understand persuasion, and they are some of the most creatively dead people inside. They have little they want to imagine about, except what they might be told to imagine, and they almost need to look to their leaders to know what opinions to parrot back. Both sides of the American political arena have people like this, as well as most people that subscribe to any extremist point of view. These are people that do not understand persuasion because many times they do not want to.

All they want is to be led to the grass they should eat and be told which cliffs are better to jump off of.

Application

I apply persuasion to how I write, a I had said before. I'm likely to be going into advertising or marketing in the near future, and I understand what it means to both manipulate and to persuade.

The best persuasion in fiction happens with the pairing of logic and emotion, the moments where an audience is asked to consider what might be a possible fact, and then accept new and more outlandish facts for the sake of belief suspension. It is once this use of unreal facts is established that emotions can be invested and can be used to make more facts feel real.

In the end, though, writers only have to heavily use the "co-op problem solving" when they want people to keep coming back, often in the form of sequels. It's a bargain between writer and audience that the next installment will either give as much impact as previously, if not more. And when a writer cannot deliver, then that is less trust that the audience then has in them.

Class Blog - Communication

Lessons Learned

When communicating, many of us in our class have very different ideas on how to go about it, but we all seem to agree on a goal. Specifically, I found the difference in how we saw "Assertive" and "Aggressive" in different ways. For me, Assertive has always been when you speak with a respectful tone, but show that you are not opening the outcome for negotiation. Aggressive, on the other hand, adds the element of making the other person feel shame and fault in a greater degree than personal responsibility or a desire to work on the task.

Application

What I think I will take away most from Tuesday's class is the observations I have of other people's thoughts and reactions on "Assertive/Aggressive/Passive" communication. It's with many of the comments and thoughts of others that I will be trying to assert myself with a more passive edge, seeking to soften my stance on issues I feel strongly about with more communication on why something is important rather than speaking like it is already knowledge why things are important.

3/4/10 - Diversity and Listening

Lessons Learned

First off, the topic of ethnic differences and how they impact society, as well as other methods of delineation in society (ie; social status, economics, sexual orientation, gender, etc) was the focus of my Sociology class last semester, and a topic that I absolutely loved from an academic standpoint. What I appreciated in Hiep's talks and in that sociology class was that both held that there was no "one correct answer". There is no denying that in the past there have been injustices perpetuated in this country based upon race, gender, and even religion. But what I do feel is correct is that the extent that we are forced to "atone" for it today is unjust and inefficient.

I feel no White Guilt, because I don't feel I have anything to apologize for on behalf of my family or my bloodline. I'm third generation Polish-American on my father's side, and my maternal side is predominantly German and has been here since the western expansion. I'm an eastern and central European descent, with my family during the western expansion marrying into native blood instead of conquering it. What a lot of people forget about the history of this country is that for a good period of time, being Polish would have marked me as undesirable and a second-class citizen. In Europe, our country was conquered and beaten by so many other nations that our national identity has been forever skewed and altered by those that occupied us.

But nobody thinks of that history when they look at me, because I look "Just like every other white person". I have been accused of racism, my family exploiting slaves, and perpetuating a cycle of hate just because of the color of my skin. I have jokes made about my ancestral country's military and the intelligence of my kinsman even today, even though many don't realize today why they make those jokes or how inaccurate they are. And it does bother me sometimes, even if I will pass off a few Polish jokes myself to take the lingering poison out of them. But I don't like bing identified as "White", because I feel it lessens and homogenizes who I am and where I came from. I'm an American, and I'm an American that works hard to remember that every single person that asks to emigrate here is just like my own ancestors in some way.

If you want to categorize me, compartmentalize me, or label me, I understand that. It's human nature, and making labels is how we make sense of the world around us. But I am more than the color of my skin, and I am more than an ugly page in history. I have my own subcultures, my own communities, and my own values. All of them transcend who I was born as or where I come from. They are a part of me because I choose to be a part of them.

My name is Abraham John Kwiatkowski. I am a human being, and I hope that that is the first label people see me as after they learn who I am.

Applications

I have prejudices, but they come from my views of subcultures and what they hold as pervading values. I hate the drug subculture; not because of the propaganda that the government puts out about a "War on Drugs", but because I had to live in the same home as my brother who showed that those who use drugs as a subcultural icon develop into selfish and greedy people that will search for others to blame and to have their problems fixed for them. They don't care about what they do to others to get their next high, and they value their chemicals more than they value other people.

I hate hardcore MMOers (Massive Multiplayer Online Gamers). These are people that will search for any way to cheat in a game or exploit whatever loophole they can, and forget to just have fun with a game. They will ridicule anyone that attempts to just play, instead of treating the entire thing as a numbers shuffling system, and often they will make this pursuit of fictional numbers and meaningless "wealth" into a badge of elitism to alienate others.

These are broad strokes that can be just as damaging of stereotypes as anything said about a race, gender, religion, etc. I need to stop using them as my definitions of everyone that identifies with these groups based on just the bad things I have seen.

Applications: Time Management & Self Management

Prioritize Better - There's a definite need for me to better sort and prioritize what I do, from my homework to my personal tasks. It was made especially obvious as I was going through what amounts of time I spent on what, and looking at how erratic some of my unused time spaces are from week to week.

Sort Stress Better - I don't handle stress well once it gets past a certain critical mass point. I think some of this has to do with how all my stresses and stressors often will get clumped into one category by me, making this gooey and sloppy lump that I can't overcome. If I better compartmentalize these stresses, then likely I will not feel as overwhelmed as often.

Lessons Learned: Time Management & Self Management

I live a busy life, and it is always made more obvious to me once I get on mass transit. I look at my commute and I think of everything I could do with that time, everything I try to do with that time, and everything I would rather be doing with that time.

I've tried doing homework, but have you ever tried reading anything larger than a small paperback novel on the bus? Space is at a premium and I'm a broad guy, meaning I have zero room to maneuver once someone sits next to me. And the bus is not a stable place, so any typing is very slow and always riddled with typos. So I can't be productive. Then there's motion sickness; reading many times will cause a nausea that is not good for an hour+ trip, so even if I had room I still would be able to only do so much.

If I wasn't taking mass transit, I also could work certain chores and tasks into my commute; pick up office supplies and non-perishable groceries on the way to school, general grocery shopping on the way home. I could also eat my meals at home and save money, instead of eating for pay here at school.

In the end, I learned to not only measure the value of the time I use, but also what I might be able to do with it alternatively.

Missed Messages: Convincing & Leadership

Lessons Learned

The core concepts in both parts 3 & 4 of the book seem to be able to be expressed as outgrowths of both sincerity and empathy. There are some that would say that it is important to include humility in this, but I find that when you are able to show both qualities with skill, then things such as humility come naturally.

This is also the part of the book where a person might start realizing exactly what it is they've done wrong in the past. I mean sure, so much of what is presented seems like real common sense, but I'm certain that people have begun to see just how difficult common sense can be to recognize before it's too late. And that's not really a crime. We all do it at some point or another, when we get wrapped up in just what's immediately around us and what it is that's important in our own cosmos at the moment. But it's when you remember the portions of sincerity and empathy that you can both show others where you are at while you try to build a bridge into where the other person is at.

Application

• You can't win an argument - This is one I am making a real effort to remember, because I do now realize just how true that is. Debates, discussions, and criticism are all different than arguments, and I remember just how I feel after being argued with and made to feel like there's no way out except to roll over and surrender. It's never worked in getting me to change, and I need to stop arguing as much as I do if I expect to get better results.
• Let others save face - This goes with the first point I'm working on; don't defeat my opponent, make them an ally. There are many that may not want to resolve things like that, but I'm more likely to get cooperation from those that just want to be redeemed by allowing this more.
• Faults can be corrected - This also comes back to my need to let go of control. When I correct and am successful in pointing out what is wrong, saving face can mean letting the other person work on the correction. It's also important for me to make it clear that the problem can be corrected to make it easier to get to that point.

Application - Goals, Values, and Ethics

I don't think there is much that I can change about myself after this section of class, except for a renewed sense of conviction in my personal ethos. Everything that was discussed either seemed to be lessons I already had discovered, or redundant strategies for getting to places I felt I already was.

I appreciate that as a class, our ethics were not supposed to be made to conform. It is something I try to practice myself. In the end, it is this conviction and understanding I think I will best take away with me.

Lessons Learned - Goals, Values, and Ethics

I do not have traditional values. I think this comes from having so many clashes with family and other authority figures when I was young, and the ensuing stages of situational evaluation that came during adolescence. I am not religious, I do not conform to a single political ideology, I do not find comfort in pop culture movements. I also do not scorn others for spiritual leanings, a conviction in political values, or enjoyment of pop culture trends.

I have an unconventional relationship with my girlfriend, one which has it's roots in our shared troubles with divorced parents. I have socially liberal viewpoints with economic pragmatism and a belief that a system of leadership cannot be either good or evil. My faith in organized religion was broken when I saw how the historical injustices that were carried out in the name of deities, but were initiated by humans that took advantage of others... but I do not deny that there might be some higher power, just that it is a higher power that is too much to be summed up by a single mortal philosophy and ethos. I feel that the past two generation the preceded mine created one of the most selfish and arrogant world environments the human race has ever seen, but I do not think that there is nothing of value I can learn from individuals older than myself that offer to help my generation correct past mistakes. These are just some of the conclusions I have in my life that form my own core values and ethics.

My goals are set, but the path I take to get there is not a static one. I know what kind of person I want to be, and what I want to offer to everyone else. I learned in class that these concepts I have about my outlook are not wrong or have been found in strange ways, but that they only work when I stick to them and persevere.

Personal Motto

I like to think that I am more complex and multi-faceted than a single motto. So, in an attempt to satisfy my own ego's need to continue to be different and my desire to maintain my GPA, I present my "Situational Mottos";

Professional Motto

"Any job worth doing is also worth making better"

It's not good enough to just do a job and keep doing it the same way over and over. Don't just memorize how a task is done; learn why it's done and then identify how it might be done better. Eliminate the inefficiency, increase the output (either by finding new data or additional results), and better learn the details of what happens.

Social Life Motto

"Life's too short for mediocre fun"

This applies to eating food that's boring, going places that don't surprise me, hanging out with people that don't add something to my life, or just participating because "everyone else does". This also means that I try and find ways to turn new social situations into exceptional experiences; learn new facts, share new stories, or just learn about new people.

Personal Life Motto

"A Life lived at the expense of others is a life's worth lessened"

I have been used, and I have seen others used. I cannot say that I am a completely altruistic individual, but I can take control and make choices when I recognize them to benefit more people than just myself. I can choose to support businesses that I feel enrich the community, I can choose to stand by friends when their life gets complicated, and can choose to learn more about a person before I make personal judgments.

Self Image Motto

"I am better than the sum of my faults"

This comes down to more of a mantra, something I am working to remind myself of when i find things becoming more and more difficult. I have strengths, I have worth, and I contribute more to society and my chosen social circles than I take. I do rely on others to help prop me up many times, but I can still stand tall later by giving back and using what strengths I have to help others stand tall.

Applications - Self-disclosure

• Choose for your audience - The people you speak to want to hear what is significant and what is worth the time taken to devote their attention. By that same note, they want to feel assured that you understand who it is you are speaking to and that you will keep things in a context appropriate to them.

• Remember to convey intent - This ties in with my first item: Remember when speaking that you show the intent behind your words to those you are speaking to. If you just lay information out without the intent you want others to take it in, then you are forcing them to apply their own filters which might distort what you meant.

• Be as honest as is appropriate - Honesty and sincerity are invaluable tools, but you do not always need to disclose all information to get your point across. Disclose only what is relevant to the topic, what conveys your intent, and what it is that will keep everyone communicating together.

Lessons Learned: Self-disclosure

Hiep keeps telling us to put ourselves on the line, to break down out barriers. I want to say that I feel good about sharing what I did... I could have talked about something as simple as the first time I used a computer, or the first time I won a chess tournament. But I took the moment that galvanized my my hate of personal violence and my loss of faith in organized spirituality.

I regret sharing what I did. I think it was more than the rest were willing to know, a bit deeper than they were willing to see me. It would be easy to just play up my own mask of the tech nerd, the guy with the weird hobbies, the man with too many words. It's not comfortable for people to think there's something else that might be existing deeper, another person that could have been sitting where I do.

I do not regret pushing my boundaries, because it's one of the aspects of myself that I do need to work more on, but I should have chosen better for my audience. I'm supposed to be going into marketing, and that doesn't mean honesty, it means illusion painted using honesty. It means that I should be revealing just enough to sell myself and my product, enough to give people the picture (information) they need with the colors (details & values) they want. I'm going to keep pushing myself, but I do need to better remember the audience and what it is they want me to be.

Missed Messages: Handling People & Being Liked

Lessons Learned

What can you lean about these pieces of adult life, especially from a book? These are supposed to be parts of life that we should know and understand by the time we reach high school, and yet it is true that certain fundamental truths of interacting person-to-person can be so mysterious. Not just to me, not just to a select minority, but to everyone in some sort of way. We all have our blind spots, and it is perhaps by reading about them and understand what they might be that we will best be able to spot them.

I do not believe that reading a book will make me more likable, I do not think that I will gain a sudden ability to handle other people I have difficulty with. But I do think that by reading this book, I have looked a bit closer at myself and what I do when interacting with others. I have flaws that will always remain with me, and that is an acceptance which brings me a shard of self-peace. But that does not mean that I think I cannot improve, because if I do that then I have nothing left but despair.

Applications

It's hard to give specific examples of how I can make this section of the book apply to my life. I knew the concepts, but I may not have always remembered them. I know the value of a smile, I know what it means to speak and listen... but it is hard to practice it all the time. Ego, pride, hate, sadness, and apathy are something we all feel at times, and these stand opposed to all the principles that allow us to make meaningful relationship connections... but it is a part of the human condition that they must be accepted as a part of life. So if I am to take anything and apply it, it is that I need to remember that what goes around, comes around. If I want to be understood and accepted during my times of failing, I need to do the same to others.

Applications - Self Awareness

To be more self aware, I think what I really need to do is communicate better with those I trust. I'm finding that many of the times I lose my focus to my weaknesses it is because I have shut myself off from talking about what is causing me to shut down. By seeking these points of objectivity that know who I am as a person and know the full honest me, they can help me realize what I would say to myself; that is, what a calm and objective me would say to the me that is unable to rise above his failings.

If I can learn to adjust this, I think I can also learn to adjust how I apply myself to my strengths. I can make them more efficient without having to get into my downwards slope of becoming too detail oriented.

Self Awareness - Lessons Learned

I know who I am. That is to say, I know that my concept of identity is a complex one and that I seem to be vividly aware of many of my faults and my strengths. However, having that knowledge and being able to exercise the ability to see myself objectively at all times are two very different things.

To others I have many faces; I am a son in exile, a loving boyfriend, a traitor, a victim, a visionary, a tragic loss, a promising potential, a solid pillar in times of need... and so much more. To myself, I am aspects of all these in one way or another. To myself, at my core, I am a man who still feels like a boy who is always finding himself wondering where his place is. I have plans, yes, but I still feel like they are just going to be a step to something else or will be changed at a moment's notice.

I know who I am, and I know that many times people only see one aspect or see me distorted by context... but even if I know who I am, I still am learning how to live up to what I should be.

Applications - Persuasion

Of what I learned in the book, here's a couple of my thoughts on using them:

• Arguments - I need to practice this more. I come from a family that always argued, and rarely sought mediation. I'm still trying to bring myself away from this, and it's become obvious I need to practice more.
• Dramatize thoughts - This is a dangerous one in my opinion. Too much and too little can be much worse than not at all. Currently I try and work from logic, but maybe I need to work on this a bit more.

Lessons Learned - Class 10: Persuasion

I need practice. I'm not just talking about practice on speaking or participating or on a skill... I need to practice everything in one way or another before I do it. I can only function in my life by practicing what I do to a point where it becomes a pattern I can live by. When I was in sales and service, this practice was the only thing that allowed me to understand how I could persuade people about what I knew.

I knew games, pieces of fiction and distraction that I had enjoyed since I was a kid. I knew how they made me feel, I knew how they affected my interactions with other people, I knew how people could change when in the middle of a game. I practiced how to play games, and then I practiced trying to figure out who I could play in which game. Chess, Poker, Clue, Mastermind, and almost a hundred other titles and rules. I knew how to act in the games because of the rules and that gave me structure.

So when I got a job selling and buying the games I practiced, I had learned to observe what people wanted and how they might react to various structures and methods. I didn't tell them what they wanted, I asked what they liked. I didn't tell them what 'the good game' was, I asked what they wanted to get from a game. I didn't know it, but I was applying some of the very methods that were described in this section. But now that I know how others see and view these methods, perhaps I can practice them better.

Applications - Effective Meetings (2/2/10)

Facilitation, as I had just said previously, is difficult. However, it is a role I have often attempted to fill to varying degrees of success in the past. Here are a few of the lessons I feel I will be able to apply to future attempts at effective facilitation.

• Better identify personalities - It's difficult for me to sometimes identify what might be a task oriented personality vs. a forceful destructive personality. By better examining the textbook examples, I think I will better be able to see details better that I may have missed in the past.
• Maintain neutrality better - I'm a passionate person, which is sometimes why I want to facilitate resolutions between other people that have passion. However, I do have a nasty habit of losing my neutrality if the issue gets drawn out for too long. By better managing time on issues better I hope I can manage my ability to remain neutral.
• Check my own personality - I'm not always going to be the facilitator, so I need to remember what I do which might disrupt that process. I may not be directly facilitating, but it is a responsible team member which assists in reducing unneeded work on whomever is taking on that role.

Lessons Learned - Class 7: Facilitation (2/2/10)

Facilitation is difficult. “What? That’s not much of an observation!” OK, fine, so perhaps the matter is a bit more complex than that one sentence, but it does sum up what I’m going to go into.

The process of remaining both goal oriented as well as critically neutral is a balancing act that not everyone is cut out for. It takes a level of multitasking and attention to detail that is often applied to analytical thinkers, but the ability to gain insight to personalities and drives that comes from someone with specially suited empathy. While it is certainly not unheard of to have both of these traits gained naturally over the course of life experiences, it is not commonly found without (I feel) certain specialized training.

Now, even once you have a facilitator, there are still a number of obstacles that can stand in the way of the team and their goal. Despite what the textbook says about eliminating chronic problems from a team, this is not always a solution that is available to facilitators and leaders. Then there are the situations where a facilitator may not have the respect or trust of team members that offer critical aspects to the cause.

Facilitation is difficult, and often thankless. It’s a skill that is often valuable when others get credit for successful results and might often be blamed when matters end in failure. But it is still a skill and a practice that is critical to not only business, but also life.

Applications - Effective Meetings (1/21/10)

Just as classes are a type of meeting, my own social life in Roleplay Gaming is also expressed in types of meetings. Here are the best ways I can think of to use the lessons in that venue:

• Pre-Communicate - Since this hobby is based on creative storytelling and improv, if the group knows what to generally expect from the upcoming session then they can better prepare themselves for things when they start and perhaps have opening plays in mind.
• Pay Attention to Process - Like meetings, game sessions proceed along certain lines and often have limited time to take place in. Often this is 3 to 7 hours (depending on the group), but the process can be almost identical to meetings. Preliminary - Game Master (meeting leader) narrates a recap of the last session, introduces players to the immediate events, and reminds them of their current defined goal. Kickoff - This is the interaction portion where players will make story actions to reach goals, negotate for better chances of success, and then deal with any new issues or goals. Summary - The GM brings the current story segment to a close, narrates where everyone is and what they are about to do, and makes certain everyone is clear on what will be happening. Evaluation - RPGs use an abstract currency known as "XP" (Experience Points) in almost all cases, and are used by players to gain larger possible margins of success in certain actions for future stories. This currency is awarded by the GM, but by using meeting techniques we can also introduce time for the group to point out who they feel might be most deserving of additional XP.

Lessons Learned - Class 6: Effective Meetings (1/28/10)

I have both been a "victim" of a bad meeting, as well as likely helped perpetuate more than a few. It's a difficult task, to have a good meeting. Sure, we have guidelines and plenty of notes and information on what to accomplish and what should be accomplished, but there are many times when an issue is more than can be contained by the guidelines.

Now, what we learned in class is not without merit. The more quantitative measures (limit who attends, designate achievable topics, pre-communicate what expectations are) are the easiest to enact and go a long way to limiting more complex issues later. It's also important to remind the entire meeting that it is everyone's responsibility to maintain expectations, and not just the meeting's head.

Applications - Conflicts (1/26/09)

After studying the conflicts chapter, I see the following items most applied in how I do things:

• I'm taking more time after a conflict in how I phrase my response, but I'm also communicating that that is what I am doing. This will hopefully mitigate assumptions that will damage future resolution.
• Passionate conviction is not bad, but there needs to be a method to show others how important a point is other than to stick to it. Give both sides in a conflict the opportunity to articulate how critical certain points are with the proviso that they cannot frame it as it being important to just them. Perhaps that will help sides examine their own points and reveal further issues in both conflict and debate.
• Illustrate forgiveness as something deserved, and without condition. Just saying that you are ending a conflict without reprisal helps future communications, but showing why you forgive can also help the other party understand your reasons better and might even make them reflect again on why they fought your point of view.

Lessons Learned - Class 5: Conflicts (1/26/10)

This is a topic that I have difficulty with when things go very wrong. As I voluntarily stated in class, I have the potential to be a very bitter person that holds a grudge when I feel I have been wronged. This comes after I usually find that a conflict cannot reach resolution without giving up a part of my self-worth (which might be inflated or not... I'm still trying to find a therapist that will be able to decide on that), thus violating my personal ethics.

This isn't a self-help blog, though, and it isn't a place for me to vent my personal woes. But I will say that by at least recognizing my failing in an essential aspect of team dynamics, and focusing on who and what "deserves" the energy I put into maintaining these unhealthy grudges, I have developed a series of qualifications for where I stop trying to resolve a conflict. I feel that it's a pretty high threshold.

Now, to get back on track...

Of all the lessons being talked about in class, it was the temper one that I felt was the most profound. Anger is the single greatest barrier to resolving a conflict, because I have yet to see such a thing as "Logical Anger". We can't analyze both sides when tempers flare, and if at least one side approaches the table from a standpoint of indignation then they may see any attempts at finding a mid point to be condescending.

Applications - Teams (1/21/10)

I'm one of those people that can be the overachiever, the one that is so willing to take on some extra load if others are struggling. Many times this results in me getting overwhelmed and then becoming one of the chronic procrastinators. I need to work harder in the future to keep things equal, both for my own sake and the sake of my team.

As a leader of a team, I still feel I need to inspire the others to put more on the line, though I don't know if this is because of an actual need to help raise them up or because of different ways of communicating. Right now I feel at times that my team is getting intimidated by how much emotion I'm willing to put forward, though I do not feel that they are attempting to loaf about.

Lessons Learned - Class 4: Teams (1/21/10)

I don't have a fear of public speaking. You can't, really, if you're a sales person who runs product demos and help workshops. But I am terrified of taking personal risks, and I did that when I spoke on Thursday.

I worked on my notes until early in the morning, having downed an entire pot of coffee as I poured over the required reading and then looking for how I could interpret with my own words. I only used maybe 3/4 of those notes because I don't like speaking from a script, one of my first risks. I had no idea how exactly everything would come together because no amount of rehearsal will predict where my emotions might take me and what reactions I might get from my audience.

I took a risk my putting those emotions on the line, by showing the class that I wasn't willing to fade into the background. For a lot of people, being confronted by someone that isn't willing to conform to expectations can be unnerving and sometimes even make them hostile. But being shown something new can also make people sit up and take more notice of what you might say or do. I suppose I'll see eventually how effective I was.

Everyone is taking some degree of risk as they stand up and do these talks, because without risk there is nothing to gain. It's also being driven home on just how much each person is standing there for the teams and how they can't act like they just affect themselves. For me, it's about how I need to stop being afraid that things are going to fall apart in my hands.

Lessons Learned - Class 3: Negotiations

(Note: this post is late, I know, but there's no sense in not doing the work)

Negotiations is actually something I learned intimately in my life. My father worked as a state labor negotiations lawyer for Wisconsin all through my childhood, and it showed in much of his parenting. This isn't to say he did a bad job as a father, but there is something surreal in sitting down at the age of 10 to negotiate your allowance contract with the various duties and even clauses.

So, sitting in class, it was actually most informative to listen to how others viewed the process of negotiating between people than it was to do the reading. Actually... let me correct that; having read definitions and confirmation of the text book's views, it was enlightening to see how other people viewed negotiating. For so many it was a way to settle disagreements or to gain what they needed. However, to me, negotiating has always been more of a way to know how best to coexist with others. It's a way to know where the boundaries lay in mutual need and what to expect in reciprocation of favors.

Now, there were some definite finer points that spoke to me as I worked through the text and listened to the lecture. Understanding the different methods of questioning to reach a win-win situation has made me re-examine my own methods, and it's also made me look closer at how others approach.

Resources for collaboration - Personal recommendations

While not a requirement of our classwork, I am going to post up the following information for any in our class that might be seeking tools to help maintain team communication:

(#1) - Google Wave

Not even out of beta testing, this new Google product is a fusion of online document writing and chat program. "Waves" are collections of comments and ideas that are usually longer and more in-depth than standard online chats, and those that have been invited to participate in the Wave can answer to any individual posting rather than having a simple linear train of thoughts. Add in the ability to re-edit existing ideas and a "Playback" feature that allows anyone to read the Wave in the order that comments were posted, and you have a unique tool for working together over distances. This is an invite-only service right now, but I have plenty of invites if anyone ever wishes to try this program.

(#2) - Google Docs

A stripped down and basic suite of Office programs, Google offers this service to anyone that gets an account with them. All documents are stored online, and can also be shared with other users in your gmail address book.Give them read-only or edit access, and anyone in the group can see how someone's project is coming along and even help it along if so wished.

(#3) - Skype

Once again, a free access program. This one is a Voice-over-Internet calling and chat program, allowing for conference calling and text chat in the same package. Higher quality than most of the other chat systems that added Voice on after the fact, Skype also offers users paid accounts to allow for voicemail and even a phone number that others can call from any phone anywhere. If you want to just use the free voice chatting, headsets that combine headphone and microphone can be had for $10 to $100. Prices vary depending on quality, features (such as wireless connection), and design.

Lessons Learned - Class 2: Leadership & making it work

The second day of class came and brought with it a number of new challenges, chief among them my first time looking at my own style of leadership.

I have had to often question my own leadership techniques due to past experiences, moments where I have lost many people's respect due to how I lead a group. However, what I have found is that there was a general consensus amoung groups on what makes a good leader. Everyone seemed to believe that good leaders were ones that had conviction and an ability to drive their fellow team members forward. I'm hoping that my drive to gain exceptional marks in this class will inspire the rest of my group to do the same, and I am hoping that by approaching some matters from outside of the box I will be able to not only lead well but create a sense in my team mates on how important they all are to the process of our mutual grades.

The truth is that I will be relying on my team members to help me find my weaknesses and correct them, and for that reason I will likely begin pushing them slowly harder and harder until they tell me what must change. Right now I'm getting perfect scores from them, but we all need work and I'll be addressing that directly with the next class. I also will be taking the next presentation assignment, so as to force the rest of my group to examine my style compared to theirs.